I don't have a clue when I last posted -- I know that the #BigHeavyWeight of it all wrapped itself around my shoulders on June 19 and I have been working my way through a bit of hell ever since. Anton Chekhov wrote that "Any idiot can handle a crisis. It's the day to day living that wears you out." And I've had about three weeks of living in that space. The good news is that I am brave enough to say I'm tired, brave enough to quit pretending all is well, brave enough to rest and to begin to heal. Another wonderful man once said "This is not the end, and not even the beginning of the end, but it might be the end of the beginning." #KeepSwimming
My employment ended on June 3o, the afternoon after a demonstration by a company that can do everything I do, only from India. I texted my partner that I was pretty certain that I was going to be outsourced, and sure enough, I was shown the door the next day. #MoreTimeToWrite.
#Writing: After attending the Tinker Mountain Writers Workshop, I've decided to formalize my path as a writer. This is weird and vulnerable and scary for me. I need to keep a log of pieces that I have submitted (a New Thing That Just Happened on Monday) and pieces that need rework. I hope to have a submission, rework and new work every day, along with reading. Stay tuned. Feel free to check out my progress in my tracking spreadsheet (two tabs).
#Mediation certification: I will be taking the Domestic Violence and the Family seminar on July 21, and then the Family Mediation Training in Richmond in August (next challenge). I'm still waiting to make progress on the General Court observation, but it will come in due time. The Family Mediation Certification will likely come at the end of August (also next challenge). It feels good to have progress on this.
#Communication with Vivian. My daily calls with my daughter were suspended when we went to court on July 6. This hurts, and she was in tears over it. We go back to court in September (two challenges from now, I think, but maybe three -- this is how I measure things). I'm now limited to calling on Monday and Wednesday, which doesn't really make any sense, since the argument they presented was that I was inappropriate on the phone, so why would it be ok to be inappropriate two times a week? #MovingOn. When we were on the phone on Monday, we started talking about the garden and how it's coming along and she got a little sad. I said I could send her pictures, and she brightened up and said she would love that. So there it is, in the midst of the dark, the single star to guide me through. I wrote her a Garden Report and included a garden word search along with the pictures I took and mailed it yesterday. I'm going to write her every day, including a puzzle or coloring page or whathaveyou. And then I'm going to write my pen pal, who is in prison. #SnailMailRules
- Nightly sleep I need to take care of myself by making certain I'm getting enough rest. If I'm worn out and exhausted, I can't be a good student / parent / friend. I need to be in bed no later than 9 p.m.
- Daily Sauna or hot bath
- Daily Meetings Reason 417 that not having a job is grand for me is that I get to return to my lunchtime meeting. It meets at 12:15 seven days a week, and I'm thinking of adding Saturday to the mix when my partner has overtime or a seminar. It fits perfectly after my writing workshop meeting at 9:30 at the local library, and then the Friends Meeting every Sunday.
- Water reestablish the habit.
- Walking. My steps fell to hell as the office job progressed. I went from a ten mile a day habit to barely a mile, and lost the habit of walking thirty minutes every day as well. I'm hoping to put it back.
#FinancialPlanning with the attorney: Financial worry is soul-crushing. I recently read a report on the effects of poverty sapping nearly an entire standard deviation from a person's intelligence, and I can completely believe that. The mental peace that will come from financial clarity is huge. I have until July 31 to wrap this up, and am hoping that it will be done much sooner than that. It's only waiting on me at this point, so pester me for updates.